The Internal Conflict

The readings for this Sunday all speak about a deep internal struggle that every person experiences. It is a battle within ourselves. What God desires for us versus what we desire for ourselves. This battle shows us that serving God is not always easy or comfortable. It often requires us to do things that our human nature resists.

The responsorial Psalm expresses this same inner reality in a different way. It is a song that speaks of our soul's deep thirst for the living God. This thirst is not physical. It is a spiritual thirst for something the world cannot give. We try to quench this thirst with the things of this world, but they never satisfy. The psalm reminds us that our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O God. This inner longing is a constant part of the human experience.

We must choose to follow his way, even though it is a path of suffering and sacrifice. It does not mean that we seek pain, but we accept it for the sake of Christ.

Saint Paul then provides a clear and direct instruction for our lives. He calls us to a different, higher standard. It requires a constant choice on our part to reject the world's values.

The Gospel of Matthew presents the most dramatic example of this internal conflict in the person of Peter. Peter has a moment of profound faith when he declares that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God. This is a divine revelation. Yet, immediately after this, Peter reveals his own human idea of who the Messiah should be. He tries to tell Jesus that he must not suffer and die. Peter's heart is in conflict between his faith and his own expectations.

These readings are not ancient stories; they are a perfect reflection of our lives. We have all been baptized, and we have all made a commitment to follow Jesus. However, we also have our own strong desires and agendas. Often we want to live by our own will, even when it may be against the will of God. It causes a painful tension within us. We are in a state of conflict between our love for God and our love for self.

To union with God requires us to detach from our own will. This is the only way to find true peace and to end the internal war within us.

Jesus challenges us with a strong and clear teaching about this conflict. He tells us that the way of pleasing ourselves will never lead to true happiness. He says that those who want to save their own lives will lose them. This is a direct challenge to our modern culture of self-fulfillment. We must learn to detach from our self-centered plans.

Jesus urges us to take decisive action against our self-centeredness. We must choose to follow his way, even though it is a path of suffering and sacrifice. It does not mean that we seek pain, but we accept it for the sake of Christ. When we deny our own desires and embrace our spiritual burdens, we experience a profound peace. This is the only way to calm the internal conflict that rages in our hearts. This surrender brings unity to our inner life.

In the Spiritual Canticle, Saint John of the Cross expounds on this same spiritual principle in his profound writings. He calls us to a life of detachment from worldly things. He explains that the path to union with God requires us to detach from our own will. This is the only way to find true peace and to end the internal war within us. By embracing the way of the cross, we discover a joy that the world cannot give. This is the solution to our internal conflict." (*)